Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Randomize
