Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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