she was so not down for the gang bang
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
