I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
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