Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
