drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Randomize
