omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Randomize
