Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
