woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
