the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
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