need another drink. this is the easiest way
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
