I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Randomize
