Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
