Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize