if you like me you must not know who I am
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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