they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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