For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize