We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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