You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize