Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
