It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
then he tried to convert me to islam
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
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