Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
