Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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