Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
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