She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
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