So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
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