I would go down on you faster than GM stock
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
