Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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