im about as happy as oj after his trial
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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