I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
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