after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
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drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
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You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
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