My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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