dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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