I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
