bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I just had sex on a roof
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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