after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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