what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
