I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
