vagina is talking i cant
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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