it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
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