I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
