it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Randomize
