apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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