why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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