Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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