ugly people sure do ruin things
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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