Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
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