So drunk its hurt
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
