My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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