I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
