Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
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And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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