Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
