I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
