Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
