I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
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