How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Randomize
