Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
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