Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Randomize
