winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
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SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
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of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I party with great urgency now.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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