Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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