Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
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